I want to start out with a classic from high school. Well, when I was in high school. Probably one of the only songs I liked on the radio at that time. I was too "angry" to like anything else.
Amazing.
Remember what I said about cyclocross and it being on. Well it can't get any on-er. Molly has won two Cross Crusade races. It's pretty tight. And I get to hang out and feel important and hand off bikes in the pit. I like it. Especially when I don't fuck up. I'm going to get Nate Shapiro to make me some custom work pants for working in the pits. Super stoked about that; everything he makes is top notch.
I wish I had some pictures to show you but I don't. Maybe soon. I'm finally paying off credit card debt and that is such a good feeling. But it means that I can't afford batteries for my camera. I do want a van. I'm going to dream about this: But I'll probably end up with this:
I'm bummed that tattoos will have to wait. I wanna get all my skin covered up. Just sayn.
Oh, the reason I ask is because you are in here all the time and always so damn helpful.
(get bashful) Ha. Well, it's my job. Thanks.
What a great way to start the day. I didn't know I was so nice. Dude bought a $.60 spoke and tipped me a dollar.
Yesterday I worked in the pit for Molly. It turned out to be dry and there were no mechanical issues, so it was uneventful for me. Verg was fucking running around throwing wheels at every other person that came through. Busy day in the pit for Shimano; almost ran out of 10sp wheels. Something tells me there are a lot of people riding in the A's that don't know how to set up their bikes. I heard and saw about 5 tubulars roll off rims. None of them where ours though. So many people got flats, even on the sew-ups. Course or rider error?
Well I haven't updated in over a month I think. I'm not going to apologize because I'm not too sure there are "fans" of me. Most people know that I got into a nasty crash a few weeks ago and got a bad concussion. I've lost part of memory (as far as that night goes) and got a nasty scar on my chin (stitches). I woke up in the hospital not know what happened and with everyone looking at me just as scared as I was. Maybe more. They had to look at my fucked up self. Good thing I decided to wear my helmet.
Anyways after that I seem to not care about the internet of this blog. I supposed I will still write in it though. Or maybe start a new one.
Right now I am trying to get organized and feel a little grounded. There are a lot of things that I am going to sort out to help me get to where I want to be next. I am certain that I don't really want to have anything to do with the art world. It seems to sicken me these days. Maybe that will change in the future, but it won't be soon. The things that I want to do I am going to not talk about them here. When they happen you will know.
First thing to get done is finish walling my room. I have a new house in NE Portland. My room however is an attic space. So for the next few weeks I will be remodeling. It needs to get done fast. Its starting to get really cold and the rain is around the corner.
I will be working in the pits this cross season for one Molly Cameron. You can Google her. Hahaha. Should be fucking rad and possibly Euro.
There are other things I suppose I should write in here, but they don't seem important anymore.
Yes seriously. I went to a drift competition. It was interesting to say the least. I witnessed a whole other world. I think I may have a guilty pleasure for anything with speed. I'm sure it's much more fun driving than watching. I was invited by a girl that I was introduced to who turned out to be a driver. Her brothers and herself are all racing-drivers-people of sorts. Anyways she turned out to be a better drift competitor than most of the guys. I have pictures, but you'll have to wait. The roll is still in my camera. There weren't any thug looking dudes there which was interesting, but there was a lot of DMX playing. Solid.
My time in Khon Kaen was mostly spent either eating or thinking. I tried lots of new street food and dishes. Went to the teahouse and hug out with Adisak. Hung out with a lot of Thai kids.
My last day in Thailand I spent in Bangkok. Adisak invited me down and graciously offered me a place to stay so I wouldn't have to pay for a hotel. So I said my goodbyes in Khon Kaen and took an overnight bus. Spent the whole next day hanging out with Adisak, his girlfriend Goy and his sister Poii in his organic food and stuff shop. It was fun. We talked, drank tea, made stamps and they made me food. After the shop closed we tried to make it to a gallery opening, but Bangkok traffic is infamous for keeping you form where you need to be. Then we went to a milk bar and ate toast with sweet toppings including one with bubble gum ice and jelly balls. Noodles were in order as well. The flower market was close by so we walked around there for a bit and they purchased flowers for there respective places of living. It was really cool, there were some beautiful flowers there that I have never seen before. I didn't have my camera which is kind of a bummer, but being that it was dark out it would have been a pain to photograph them. The girls went to bed after that and Adisak and I took a bus to a different section of town to walk around. There apparently is a water plant market sometimes but it wasn't the night I was there. That was a bummer. I really like aquatic plants, So instead we sat in the Democratic memorial, which happens to be a huge traffic circle and we talked for a few hours. During this moment I realized that I was worried about going back and I wanted to stay.
I happened to see a fixie kid going by.
The flight is what a 20 flight is. Except I flew on a great airline that has good food and tons of movies. Watched the new Star Trek, which they should rename cuz its not really Star Trek and a bunch of Japanese movies. I didn't sleep the whole time. I was so wasted at the end of the trip.
Being in the U.S. was and still is weird. I can't really explain how I felt. It was a little depressing. I am just now starting to recover from jet lag and such and the shop has plenty of work for me to do.
Two more pictures from Varanasi. I totally forgot about this. This goat was all up in my grill. I thought he was going to try to eat my shirt, so I had a staring contest. After we got up he just walked past where we were sitting. I guess he just wanted to get by and I'm a jack-ass for thinking he was like all goats.
The rest are from Thailand. Seeing a pace-line in Khon Kaen was so unexpected. Especially on these mountain bikes. I have no idea what this is, but is so METAL! Pups. :( Market at the school. These bees have been here all summer. Everyone is afraid of them, but they are pretty chill.
It seems as though for a lot of people they "find themselves" while traveling around the world. At least that's the cliche. I personally could not find this to be farther from the truth. I do not feel like me. With the time that I have had to myself, I've gone over who I was, who I am and who I want to be. I am certainly not going to transform into a entirely different individual. I have always been honest with myself. No, it feels more like shedding skin. In our memories and documentation we will remember the old me, and with determination I will make the changes I want to see in myself.
I'm sorry if this too mysterious for you. I think if I listed or tried to discuss the "changes" it would make them insignificant as well as not allow me any breathing room.
One thing is for certain and I will share it with you. What I am talking about are things that I want. Sure, you can argue that you are ultimately the product of your environment; but there is a large difference between that and not being true to yourself for the sake of pleasing and being accepted by others. I can recognize this behavior and its pattern throughout my life. It's going to stop here.
You may find it naive and/or cute that only two countries have had some "profound impact" on my life. Or maybe you'll be offended for some reason. That's fine, it's your prerogative to feel however you choose. I will certainly not ever tell you how to react to something I have created or written.
But know this: Its not just traveling to and experiencing two very different countries and cultures from my own that have affected me. Its that I know that I need to experience more. Learning about something from afar is not enough. The world is far larger than I previously interpreted and I have have lived a sheltered life. Every time I go somewhere new I expect my outlook will be the least of things to change.
There are a reported 203 "sovereign states" in the world which makes me think there are more than a hundred times more different peoples and cultures worldwide. I want to know of all of them. Maybe it will help me gain a better understanding of life.
